Rejoicing in the day the Lord has made means time management!

Sometimes because I'm unemployed and still trying to live life productively and maintain my drive, I put a lot of pressure on myself and invent a lot of chores or tasks that I MUST do. I actually overwhelm myself with goals that aren't that important, and I have this erroneous mindset that because I have all this free time, I should be mastering 12 different things at once! The house should look perfect! I should look perfect and work out for 2 hours every day! I will master Calculus on the internet! I will walk the dog so hard he will be tired out all day! I will buy a sewing machine and sew all my clothes! I will become famous for my (nonexistent) blogs and read 400 other blogs every day!! Obviously I didn't even get near this last one.

This kind of thinking got me in trouble, because I was putting more pressure on myself than I've felt at any job I've worked, even waiting tables. And how was I rewarding myself for these obligations? By feeling guilty when I inevitably could not finish everything I wanted to finish. It sapped my enjoyment of life and even drained the satisfaction I usually feel when I am productive. I felt the opposite effect of what I'd intended - emptiness, even a painful void of purpose. I was starting to feel very depressed because the use of my time was, to me, purposeless, and nothing seemed to give me enjoyment like it used to.

I've tried something new this past week and I'm feeling so much better. Here's what I've done: RELAX. Slow down. Instead of trying to accomplish everything I want on a daily basis, I've slowed it down to every other day.

• 30 minutes on the elliptical every other day
• Expand the job search every other day
• Vacuum the whole apartment every other day

Plus, it's ok not to do certain things sometimes. I can be obsessive, but I'm not obsessive-compulsive. Who cares if I didn't blow-dry my hair for one day? 2 days? Who cares?

The best, most helpful thing I've done is give myself permission. Today I told myself its ok to read the Bible before doing chores or walking the dog. And I did. Yesterday I told myself, its ok to watch 3 episodes of Star Trek in a row. The house is clean, dinner is thawing, I worked out.  Take a break with Jean-Luc Picard! And the day before yesterday I let myself lay around and finish Over Sea, Under Stone by Susan Cooper, to accomplish my goal of re-reading The Dark is Rising series before the books are due back at the library. Which, by the way, may not happen. I always bring home too many books from the library  (and rarely take them back - trying to turn over a new leaf this year!) I always bite off more than I can chew... :)