Ruth 1 & Death

Ruth Chapter 1

My favorite verse from this chapter:

Ruth 1:16: "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God."

In the devotion to this reading, there is a beautiful quote that I highlighted and wanted to share: What do you do in the face of death? Do you blame God, as Naomi did? Do you stay put in nowhere land, as Orpah stayed in Moab? Or do you let God weave your grief into a new story, as Ruth did?

I have been influenced by death in two major ways. First, the death of my grandpa, which took me a long time to process, and still doesn't make much sense to me, and second, the possibility of my husband deploying and being in harm's way, and the very real possibility that he could be killed. He is in the Army. This second possibility paralyzes me with fear. I hear every day about other soldiers who were killed and mourned by their families and this just makes it that much more real to me, that this could happen to my husband.

Honestly, nothing about death gives me hope. My feelings about it lately are that if something does happen to my husband, I will eventually be ok. It will take a long time and it will not be graceful, but I will survive. Part of me worries that even trying to make sense out of this is inviting tragedy. I am working every day to find peace about this. I almost feel that by worrying so much about it and being so scared, I am asking for that which I'm afraid of to happen.

Yesterday I prayed for faith and today I will pray for hope. God, help me focus on life and not death. Help me have hope for the future. Help me deal with what comes, as it comes. I pray this for me and for anyone who is struggling with the pain of loss and fear for the future. Amen.